Get Out The Group Chat

Singlehood Vs. Marriage

February 06, 2024 Shavonia Lewis & Tanzania Black Season 1 Episode 6
Singlehood Vs. Marriage
Get Out The Group Chat
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Get Out The Group Chat
Singlehood Vs. Marriage
Feb 06, 2024 Season 1 Episode 6
Shavonia Lewis & Tanzania Black

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Join in as I chat with Barbara and Joseph about the highs and lows of being single, married, and staying true friends through it all. But it doesn’t end at “I do.” We explore how to maintain friendships and respect boundaries within marriage. Whether you’re flying solo, hitched, or somewhere in between, this conversation offers insights on nurturing those connections and valuing a diverse crew.

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Follow Shay: @shavonia_marie
Follow Barbara: @mrs_barb_b
Follow Joseph: @thejosephwill

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Follow Shay: @shavonia_marie
Follow Tanzania: @theniablack

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Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/moire/new-life (https://click.pstmrk.it/3s/uppbeat.io%2Ft%2Fmoire%2Fnew-life/vZub/Zq6yAQ/AQ/74ea54e8-4ea3-498b-a4eb-796286f9e4e7/4/qc1qvBx_nI)
License code: 4LNHLW6CL9FJGMWN

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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Send us a Text Message.

Join in as I chat with Barbara and Joseph about the highs and lows of being single, married, and staying true friends through it all. But it doesn’t end at “I do.” We explore how to maintain friendships and respect boundaries within marriage. Whether you’re flying solo, hitched, or somewhere in between, this conversation offers insights on nurturing those connections and valuing a diverse crew.

Instagram
Follow Black Friends Forever: @blackfriendsforever
Follow Shay: @shavonia_marie
Follow Barbara: @mrs_barb_b
Follow Joseph: @thejosephwill

Support the Show.

Instagram
Follow Black Friends Forever: @blackfriendsforever
Follow Shay: @shavonia_marie
Follow Tanzania: @theniablack

To support the work of Black Friends Forever, donate via Cashapp: $blackfriendsforever or a monthly subscription https://www.buzzsprout.com/2295163/supporters/new

To advertise with us or if you want to shout your bestie out email blackfriendsforeverms@gmail.com

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/moire/new-life (https://click.pstmrk.it/3s/uppbeat.io%2Ft%2Fmoire%2Fnew-life/vZub/Zq6yAQ/AQ/74ea54e8-4ea3-498b-a4eb-796286f9e4e7/4/qc1qvBx_nI)
License code: 4LNHLW6CL9FJGMWN

Speaker 1:

One, two, three. Get your friends about the group chat, group chat Wave your passwords in the air, air, air, the devil, he don't like it. Stomp that down, stomp that down, oh well, oh well, all right, welcome back to Get Out the Group Chat. My name is Shyvana Marie and you know why we're doing this. We're doing this because we want to see friendships grow. We, you know, you heard us say it growth happens best in community. So I have some special guests here. I have the Joseph Mickins best stylist on this side of that. Then he's interior fashion. I mean, as you can see, I mean he did all of this. I mean it's a dope set to me. So, yeah, thank you for coming and joining us. Barbie is back in the building. The culinary chef, she is the bomb, promise you, if you're in Houston, look both of these people up. I promise you won't be disappointed at all. So welcome, welcome, welcome. All right, so you know we're going to play a little game. Real quick, we start up with our game.

Speaker 1:

All right, you ready, you ready. I need to get your phones out real quick. Oh, ok, so it's called phone a friend with a little twist. You know what I mean. So we're going to phone a friend. You have 10 seconds for that friend to answer my question. If they don't answer, you have to eat the mystery meal. If they answer and they get it wrong, you still got to eat that, so let's get it. Get your people on the phone real quick so I can read this question to y'all. Let's see, let's see you go first. No, both of y'all got to do at the same time. It's the first person, first person to answer and get it right. Let's see, let's see. Oh, let's see who's going to answer first. Bro up Barbara.

Speaker 2:

What you doing.

Speaker 1:

You automatically lost. Now he got his first and first.

Speaker 2:

You got, you got like five minutes.

Speaker 1:

Don't want me five, five minutes, I'm on a podcast.

Speaker 3:

I had the phone a friend.

Speaker 2:

So I'm going to be asked a question and you have to answer it. You got to answer it. Speaker.

Speaker 1:

All right.

Speaker 2:

what is your friend name? Sam?

Speaker 1:

All right, sam, you are on Get Out the Group Chat podcast, and so I'm going to ask you a question. You have 10 seconds to answer you ready, all right. What is Scotland's national animal 10.

Speaker 2:

Are you?

Speaker 1:

kidding. No, he don't know what, what, what? It is a unicorn. That I know that I was shot.

Speaker 2:

I was a unicorn that doesn't exist.

Speaker 3:

Right.

Speaker 1:

Imagine that Right. Well, thank you, sam, but Joseph now has to eat this mystery.

Speaker 2:

Man man. Well, thanks for trying.

Speaker 1:

I'm sorry.

Speaker 2:

All right.

Speaker 1:

Joe and Barbara. Guess what you eat today. Oh, my. God Guess you know it's going to be some. I'm sorry, it's a pepper of cream cheese. I forgot I never told you this. It is. Oh, is it a jalapeno? It?

Speaker 3:

is a jalapeno.

Speaker 1:

Yes, it's jalapeno, and cream cheese or cream cheese, ok, strawberry cream cheese, all right. So yeah, three, two, one Clap, all right. So, joe and Barbara, the mystery meal is Jalapeno and cream cheese, strawberry cream cheese. Take one and pass it down, saints, because your person didn't answer and your person got it wrong. Go ahead, grab one. This is what happened when you don't have friends to answer your phone call or friends who don't know the answer. Guys, all right, you got five seconds.

Speaker 3:

Five, my doctor said I can't. No, you lie.

Speaker 1:

Five, four, five, four, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, five, four, three, two, one. Look at the way Joseph did. What it tastes like, tell me, not bad.

Speaker 3:

That's not bad.

Speaker 1:

For real? Yeah, so let us know in the comments. Try it at home and let me know. Do you think it's busted or disgusting?

Speaker 2:

Now you ain't gonna take another bite.

Speaker 1:

You can put it back in there.

Speaker 2:

I like you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, is it the cream cheese, because it's strawberry cream cheese, or. Definitely the cream cheese, it's the cream cheese, it's like it gives the jalapeno like it embraces the jalapeno. It's good. Yeah, you making me want to Y'all, should I try? I might have to try the.

Speaker 2:

So I don't eat jalapenos, I don't eat peppers, I don't eat spicy stuff.

Speaker 3:

What, Wow? What I've realized is what I know for a fact jalapenos are not spicy without the seeds.

Speaker 1:

Oh, really, that makes you.

Speaker 3:

That's very fruity. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

You said you want to take another bite, joe, you took another bite, brother man, it must be good, brother.

Speaker 3:

It has like the jalapeno flavor, but it's not spicy. Without the ribs and without those seeds, you don't get any heat.

Speaker 1:

All right. So obviously y'all love the little mystery, little food. We couldn't get you with that one. But we're going to move into our topic, which we're talking about single-hood versus marriage. So I just want to hear a little bit like some pros, on the single-hood innocence.

Speaker 3:

You want to go first? Okay, okay. So some pros, I would say, like, take it back, I had a little more time on my hands. I can go when I got ready. Yep, you know I could go do some things I could. You know, my day was different when I was married, right, so it is a pro. You know, sometimes you kind of miss once you do marriage.

Speaker 3:

It's not that you don't want to be married, it's just that you miss those moments of quiet time that you have alone and not having to consider the other person and how they feel because you're being alone, right, what about you?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I would say the same. The first thing that came to mind is that you have less to consider. And it's not that considering is bad, because you find enjoyment out of considering someone else.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

But you have less to consider when you're single. Your hands are, you can be ambidextrous. There's more things that you can do when you're single.

Speaker 1:

That's kind of like. You know, I like my little single-hood where. I can do what I want. I ain't got to answer to nobody, you know, but I do want to get married, so I'm not like like getting that far apart. But, like right now, I love my little single-hood. You know where I can go and fly when I want to and do all that good stuff, so, yeah, so what is some con you can tell me about single-hood?

Speaker 3:

Fighting loneliness, because they get lonely. I mean, they get lonely now. It's like hi, it's so lonely sometimes, and so you kind of you're yearning for companionship. So that was the most dreadful part of the waiting process, you know, because you can busy yourself throughout the day, right, You're out doing things with your friends, with your family, whatever. But when it comes like when everything kind of settles, it's like I don't have nobody really to tell me. Nobody really to tell me what I need today.

Speaker 3:

You know, like this is born today or I'm struggling with something mentally. I really need somebody to kind of process. Help me process, you know what I experienced today. So wanting to go out to eat, wanting to go to movies, you know, go on dates. It gets lonely.

Speaker 2:

I would say like parallel to that, you don't have accountability. You do, but in this good to have like friends, yeah, what goes on behind closed doors? Right, what goes on when you're by yourself and you know so there's Next level. You know Accountability that you have to have in your single because when you're married you know you're there with, You're considered best friend, your partner.

Speaker 3:

And you can lean on them in different ways that you can't do when you're so would you say that's the pro in being married, then yeah yeah, I mean cuz I get that, because just think about it like If we're gonna die together, like we supposed to work out and do all these things. I Can't hide that from my husband.

Speaker 2:

That I'm not working. That's the ability that I'm not eating, right I didn't drink my water today. You know, say like that accountability is there.

Speaker 3:

Oh it, just like my bank account. Um, I wish if he talks about us he's like if you not want to know your heart is lead your bank account, and so one part hard part about marriage was having to relinquish that and Exposed it to my husband and I kept on a healthy for a long time Because I knew that once I showed him like it's accountability. Now I can't be running the back doors. Give to. So, he's holding me accountable to the ghost. I said that I wanted to.

Speaker 1:

So what could? What advice in marriage that you kind of can give somebody like that's in that single hood Right now?

Speaker 2:

from a mirrored.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, from being married, giving someone a single day.

Speaker 3:

Yes, hmm. Yeah, I would say Enjoy Every part of singlet.

Speaker 1:

I heard that a lot too, yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, enjoy it, even though there are some times where you know like you're fighting loneliness, you're fighting these things. But enjoy all of it because, even because you can get married, like you can get rushed into a situation and still be lonely. Hmm, Geez you can still be in a marriage. It's real. They hold you accountable because they don't care that much, yeah, about the things you care about, so you can rush into situations because you're lonely and the Joe Grace thing you really gonna be you know you could be really lonely in your marriage.

Speaker 2:

Thank you long and wait, Joe wait so Any tips for, like the guys I guess, joe and yeah, I would say like take some time To work on yourself. That's good A lot of people don't really have this conversation. Especially I will guys.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's the problem.

Speaker 2:

As long as we, you know, feel like we got the money, you know all of them. But there's more to marriage than just financial.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, say that one more time for the people in there.

Speaker 2:

There's more to marriage than just financial. Thank you um so. In life, I believe, everybody goes through storms everybody has their thing that they've been through, dealt with, and while you're single, you have full autonomy to work on that by yourself, with a therapist, with God, with friends, with family. When you're married, you're bringing in two worlds that have their own separate experiences, and now you got to figure it out together.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Which is good, which can happen, yeah, but again, you don't have full autonomy in that space. So now that you have full autonomy when you're single, yeah take the time to assess where you are, where you've been, where you want to go right and make the proper adjustments.

Speaker 1:

And I think that's the journey I'm kind of on right now. It was like what can I work on, shay, like yeah, can I work on that? Way, I'm not bringing all the baggage in my marriage or whatnot. So yeah I. That's great advice. Make sure y'all take that advice.

Speaker 3:

Um, I can. I mean, I would encourage women to be your fool set like discover all the things about yourself, the things you like that you don't like that.

Speaker 3:

You want to change. You know, if you want to switch our careers, do all of that. You know it's like to Explore more options on why you're single To just that's good, you know, discover who you really are because you just think about you don't know who you are. Yeah, you get married and now everybody's discovering. You know we get to a point when I, we go into counseling and you Really don't like myself or you start to change in that person like this I married you for you like.

Speaker 1:

Now you're totally different.

Speaker 3:

Wow, it's unfair, I know, but it's like do some self-work before, cuz I can't imagine my marriage self now.

Speaker 1:

You know if I hadn't gone to counseling and start going in June of 2019, God you know, yeah, so I so really work on self first, because I think some, some, and I guess women are men, I guess it's the same, but it's like we shoot for just the merit part and not looking at self to heal and to Get the help we need and truly, when you think about it, when, when I think of marriage, I think of Surrendering myself, correct?

Speaker 2:

So a lot of people think I'm here like I want a wife that can do this and do that and yeah, but what you bring oh, like what you bring it to this time. Marriage is is serving hood. It's not only receiving and and, honestly, the way that you receive in the highest form is giving the most. Yep, that's true, that's my and that's how marriage is reciprocal.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's good. So what do you guys think is the most difficult For being a wife or husband? What's the most difficult?

Speaker 3:

Hmm, what's the most difficult for me?

Speaker 1:

Or how difficult is it being a wife?

Speaker 3:

Let me think about for a second. I'm just thinking about some challenges I've had, or yeah or I'm currently experiencing as a wife. Um, just learning, like just going through therapy with my husband. Now I'm here, for I encourage everybody to marry, single everybody but listening to a Different viewpoint that he might be afraid to tell me because he don't know how I'm gonna Receive it. So in the past I would view him Okay, he's not, I'm not communicating right now.

Speaker 3:

I said, oh you, mad at me, you know, about something and Instead of me just trying to dig and trying to figure out what it is like, what is it?

Speaker 1:

Why are you not talking to me Like what's?

Speaker 3:

going on Like talk to me, say something. You know he was processing things at a different rate than I would, so he's looking at it from a whole nother perspective and I'm looking like you ain't saying nothing to me.

Speaker 1:

I need you to talk to me.

Speaker 3:

You know Another friend I have yeah, so it's kind of it's hard, you know. So now learning. Okay, if he's not Communicating that, it's not that he don't like me, no more, but he's mad at me.

Speaker 2:

He's processing something.

Speaker 3:

Okay, and I'll let him process it. I'm only gonna give you today. You got the two days. You know, but after for, after a while, he'll start to break down, or he'll he'll say well, this is what bothered me and you know, but you wouldn't have had that if y'all didn't probably do therapy, huh. Yeah, we just would have been, man, if you just.

Speaker 1:

Exactly what's like the most difficult for you as being a husband, of course.

Speaker 2:

I would say so counter, counter wise, I would say the way that our process things is completely different than how my wife would process.

Speaker 1:

Is that a male thing?

Speaker 3:

definitely.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, definitely I mean, cuz women have way more words in one day than a man does, and so what we're thinking about is probably on Rotation, or even if it's just slowed down because we're thinking At a evaluating pace, right. So yeah, there's that, and then there's a side of I'm trying to be careful.

Speaker 2:

So in the group chat you say what you want, I'll say this, a man that that really Cares about his family and wants to see progression in family. There's a sense of visionary there. Visionaries sometimes have difficulty Seeing the future, but when your current environment doesn't look like your future, it makes. It is Frustrating and sometimes you feel. Sometimes you feel less than sometimes, you feel inadequate. Sometimes you feel like I don't even deserve to show up to this space. Wow. So on the outside, looking in, oh, you don't want to be here, you're not committed, you're not Invested, you don't really care about me, and it's not that we're processing something different internally. So those, those are some of the things that that I would say is difficult About being the husband sometimes, because there are ups and downs and you're not always up, and in those down moments it's hard to coexist together.

Speaker 3:

So how would you navigate that my perspective During those times I have to be more intentional. Even though I'm curious, I'm sure I was going on and kind of slight irritated you know cuz. I'm human. Oh yeah, I have to make sure I'm like. Hey, send in some words of affirmation and encouragement.

Speaker 2:

To kind of cuz.

Speaker 3:

I already know what you think. Yeah, I already know that you're processing through that, so let me, let me do what I can to reassure you that you're supposed to be here. Yeah like you deserve to be here. We love you, you know. So you're doing a great job, so being more intentional about encouraging him Even when he's feeling Not so great about himself.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, that's good, and the good thing in doing that is that when Our spouse or me, speaking from you know being a husband, yeah when my wife needs her space, or she needs encouragement or she needs, I can then do that because, again, it's reciprocal. She's done it for me, why wouldn't I do it for?

Speaker 1:

her Exactly, exactly, that's good.

Speaker 2:

There are some times where you know you not feeling like they doing it for you. You still gotta do it in Exactly, you still gotta show me the way. But the beauty in that is like love is unfailing, yeah, true love is unconditional, is unfailing, yeah. And eventually I would say it doesn't go unrecognized.

Speaker 1:

If you keep sowing seeds, you know you're bound to see harvest. Absolutely Gotcha, do you think? And I'm just going to add, this wasn't one of the questions, but like if you did not have God, would you Pfft Woo?

Speaker 2:

You can stop right there, ha ha ha, ha yeah. Not anymore.

Speaker 1:

You know, like does that make a difference?

Speaker 3:

You know, I'll say this all the time that people better be glad Jesus that's good. It's like if I didn't know Him, if I didn't have the Holy Spirit who is walking with me like girl. Do that, don't say that that's out of line. Get that thought out of your mind, because if you act on it, this is the consequences for that. You know, what I'm saying If I didn't have Jesus and the Holy Spirit walking and talking with me daily. I wouldn't be married. You're gonna rap.

Speaker 2:

I don't know, I don't know how people do it.

Speaker 3:

I don't know. How are you living? How?

Speaker 1:

But that's what I was saying. I'm gonna go to another question. So what, like the pressures from society? What do you guys get, even from singlehood and marriage like what was that pressure like? And, from the society standpoint, like, what kind? Of pressures were you getting in singlehood and now in your marriage?

Speaker 3:

I'm gonna be honest. It's an honest space, right?

Speaker 1:

Yes, this is the get out the good job.

Speaker 3:

First of all, people glorified marriage, okay, and without telling the truth, that's good. So, as a single woman, you kind of you're trying to figure out. Like you know, I want that right, because everybody, they would show just the sweet side of their relationship and never talked through or expressed how okay. Well, today was difficult, but this is how it overcame it so we can get back to this place, right. So you go in and you thinking, okay, well, they did, I can't do it. They come over, they drive and I can do this too. And it's a lot of work going to this.

Speaker 3:

You know, so it's like people need to be more honest. I think we need to have more open and honest conversations. So, like I'm grateful this podcast was. People need to know it is hard work, Like you just don't leave single hood and going to marriage and it's all glamorous. That's when real work happens on yourself. And now you have to be accountable to somebody else and they're accountable to you. It's extra work, so yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that part is definitely needed because we I'm in my single, so it makes it seem like all is sweet, like it's just marriage is. You know? You got your husband, everything is perfect, and I think I'm glad I have the friends that I have because I can see each part you know from different. You know I have a married friend who doesn't have kids and married friend who does have kids, like. So I can see all aspects and so it just it, lets me know, like how, when I have my husband, like how to do it.

Speaker 1:

You know what I mean.

Speaker 3:

So shout out to him. And every relationship is different, but seeing how your friends like walk through situations, it can teach you a lesson Like I might not need to do that Exactly. Or I might need to do more of that, Like that work like that's good. Like I need to take that or I can you know cause we all thrive on each other. So, it's all a lesson.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and so for you, joe, since you were, you know, black man in America, you know married, you know that's very rare, you know, out here in these streets. So, like what do you? What did you get from society, from being single and now, you know, being married?

Speaker 2:

Being single honestly, depending on what society you're around. Because, people, people don't really, some people don't encourage black men to get married, like go out there do what you do so, your little oh like that's new Right, you know like how many you got? You know, yeah, yeah. But then you're older, and you're older, older people older, not I hate saying older people but yeah, older crowd, they will encourage you.

Speaker 2:

If they see that you know you're ambitious and that you're going after something, they'll encourage you to keep going. So it honestly I think it's who you choose to surround yourself with.

Speaker 1:

So do you think you had a great group of friends when you were single, like single?

Speaker 2:

and single. Oh, for sure, okay.

Speaker 1:

Did they hold you accountable on things? For sure yeah, that's good Okay.

Speaker 2:

So I guess I chose to close out the negative comments from society.

Speaker 1:

So do you have, like, any pressures of like being a husband? Like do you?

Speaker 2:

From a societal view.

Speaker 3:

Or a certain type of husband.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, that's been a thing, like I follow people on. Instagram. Instagram is chow. It can be real warm on faith in me. Yeah food, yeah food, I'm telling you in the same slide.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, okay, so In the same slide.

Speaker 3:

You never know, but the pressure is to be make sure you're at home cooking for your kids and you know you're loving her. Your husband, you know those things. It should happen, yeah, but it's like that's the only thing. They took all day to make all these rules. This is really not what they were doing. They said the camera, the camera's, their barber, exactly. You know so it's like doing it this way. You know it's pressure. So taking a break from social media is definitely needed to kind of cleanse yourself Decompose, yeah.

Speaker 3:

Because otherwise you'll be out here buying certain things to cause that looks like that works for their marriage and you know you do too much and it's not even real. Yeah, so taking a break from all of that, all those influences, will help you and help your perspective on what's in front of you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I know what I'll say from a man standpoint being married, not stopping to take a break or reevaluate or reassess, just that on demand, get it done.

Speaker 1:

So that's the pressure of like, that's the pressure Like you gotta make it happen, cause you demand, you're the husband, you got it Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And you're the husband, because we're providers.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

But we also need time to reevaluate, or, you know, self-reflect, so we can get progressing.

Speaker 1:

So how do you get past that pressure point in this? It's like what do you specifically do to get past that? Do you just like, don't listen to it, Like hey, I'm on my own, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So I'm really big on self-care. Okay, I will do whatever it takes. Gotcha, gotcha, I'll go to the movies.

Speaker 1:

I may go shopping. I can always say my best Big shopping.

Speaker 2:

I'm in therapy.

Speaker 1:

Okay, good.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, I make sure that I am okay.

Speaker 1:

Okay, that's good. So I'm gonna jump to another question for you. How do you, or what would you rate your friend groups that you have One out of 10.

Speaker 2:

10 out of 10.

Speaker 1:

Okay, barbie.

Speaker 3:

This is interesting, okay, and I say that because I don't view myself now Like I'm looking to get better in 2024. I don't really group or like look at myself as a good friend right now because of trying to take care of myself and my family. So I'm not able to be there. Gotcha, show up in friendships, gotcha, the ones that are close to me and far like I miss stuff. It's just a lot. So I don't consider myself to be, excuse me, the best friend at the time, but my friends are great.

Speaker 1:

Your friends are great. So you're rating what? Nine, 10, what do you mean? Eight? No, I'll say nine, nine, okay, all right. So how do you maintain relationships with your friends? Like I know you just said you're working on it In 2024, you're gonna work on it, everything like that. So how do you maintain those friendships? Like, what do y'all do to maintain those friendships? How does that look? Because you're both married, so how does that look?

Speaker 2:

So for me, I try my best to be an intentional person. Okay, gotcha, so I pay attention to people's love languages. So I try to love them the way that they receive love, not just the way that I give it.

Speaker 1:

That's good.

Speaker 2:

And I've learned that that's been very helpful.

Speaker 1:

So you pretty much know your friends' love languages and stuff. That's good, so that's a good thing to know people out there. Learn your friends' love language and just ask them, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:

It's quizzes you can give to your friends, your family, everybody. You need to know if you have any type of relationship with anybody that you value and that's like that you love. Give them the quiz, like you see, because I gave it to my husband, but I gave it to my daughter, my 14 year old, too. And we planned to give it to our other children our older kids Just cause you can be giving it in one way.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yep, yep, yep, and I catch it. The folks would like that's cute.

Speaker 3:

Cause I got a friend she don't like for her birthday. She don't like flowers and stuff, but then the person gives flowers. It's like, oh, that's sweet, Thank you. She's like I really don't like that. So, you gotta be more intentional yeah.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so great job y'all. We're gonna go into our next segment and it's on friendship stories. So you're gonna listen to the story and then you're gonna tell me what you think about it. All right, started getting excluded as I was single, no kids, didn't own a house and liked to travel. My friends' wives didn't feel I fit, so made sure I wasn't invited to anything. Apparently, I was a bad influence. Friends of 15 years, being so easily influenced, found a new group of friends. Now old ones reached out to me not long ago, told them to f off. What are your thoughts on that?

Speaker 2:

That's a lot to unpack.

Speaker 1:

I mean.

Speaker 2:

You know, I think so. I'm guessing this is a male, because you said friends' wives. Honestly, the first thing that came to mind hearing that is that maybe you know you a little loose out here you just you go here, bro. Okay. So being a wife like, hey, you ain't going out with Keon you can tell him Keon, do too much. Right. So maybe, maybe he should take some time to reevaluate his position and his stance with his friends, you know, and is he respecting them? Being married?

Speaker 1:

Mm. Okay, but I'm gonna let you guys be by the team.

Speaker 3:

I'm gonna say it's all about respect and so you can be single. I mean, because we have friends that are single and married. Right, but you can. You just have to respect people and their boundaries and respect their relationships.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

You just can't be. But what if he ain't the friend that's really trying to turn up and y'all just the wives just acting extra?

Speaker 2:

Then you know what I think that requires a healthy conversation to happen.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Because you don't want to harness, harvest stuff, that's.

Speaker 1:

Cause that's 15 years of friendship.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you don't want to just throw it away.

Speaker 1:

Y'all throwing that away because you got married. Now, I don't know, I will feel some type of way. Yeah, I ain't going down, cause I'm single, so I guess that's fine.

Speaker 3:

No, no, I understand that Because sometimes people get married and they'll like have people that encourage you with hanging out with those single folks, right, because you married. I do not believe in it.

Speaker 1:

Head to our friend group.

Speaker 3:

Well, we don't believe in none of that. We don't believe in none of that. I need y'all Right. I need to laugh.

Speaker 1:

I need to, you know, go out and do some things. So thank y'all for being on. Make sure you guys like subscribe and catch us back on. Get Out the Group, chat Peace.

Speaker 2:

Peace.

Speaker 1:

We all did the.

Speaker 2:

Three days, he said, peace.

Speaker 1:

Peace.

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